The Bucket List Approach, Mentality, and Lifestyle: A Framework for Living With Intention

by Dr. Jeffrey R. DeSarbo, The Bucket List Doctor™

If you follow my writings and teachings, you will no doubt hear me repeatedly say that a bucket list isn’t about what happens before the end of life; it’s about how you live while you’re in it.

At its best, bucket listing isn’t just a pastime; it’s a philosophy. It’s a way of thinking that changes the way we relate to time, to meaning, to our own minds, and even to existence itself. To truly understand it, we must examine its three dimensions: approach, mentality, and lifestyle. Each builds on the next, and together they form a kind of living architecture, one that helps us move from passively existing to actively experiencing our lives.

The Bucket List Approach: Training the Brain for Intentional Living

A bucket list approach is the foundation. It is the intentional process of deciding to add or modify one’s belief system through organized thinking about the future, as outlined in the book The Neuroscience of a Bucket List. A bucket list is not just a list written in one afternoon; it is a training ground for how we think, plan, and imagine.

When we take a bucket list approach, we systematize what once seemed like abstract dreams. We categorize, prioritize, and reflect. We learn to see what’s truly meaningful versus what’s merely appealing. We begin to create a mental framework and a design for future living.

There’s a quiet kind of neuroscience at work here. Every time we imagine a new possibility, our brain activates circuits for focus, decision-making, and motivation. Over time, repetition strengthens these circuits. It’s not unlike exercise. The more we use certain mental pathways, the more responsive and adaptable they become.

Creating a bucket list, then, isn’t just an exercise in goal setting. It’s an act of cognitive expansion. We’re teaching the brain to think in terms of sensible growth, possibility, and purpose, skills that support emotional health and resilience in every other area of life.

The Bucket List Mentality: The Beliefs That Begin to Take Root

As the approach matures, something subtle begins to happen: a mentality forms. The bucket list approach begins to naturally weave itself into the way we think, the way we perceive the world, and the way we interpret our own potential. It doesn’t force a change in how we think; it flows with the experiences we choose to have. A bucket list mentality becomes ingrained in our belief system. It becomes part of daily cognition, internal narrative, and automatic thought. It can also shape values and morals into empowering character strengths.

We begin to hear ourselves think:

“I believe in going for it.”

“Don’t be afraid of dying; be afraid of not living.”

“We have more control than we think.”

“A small, joyful moment counts.”

“Practice gratitude daily.”

“It’s not the quantity of life, it’s the quality of it.”

These are not slogans. They reflect new neural habits. They’re your new mottos. Each repetition gently rewires the brain's processing of hope, effort, and reward. Novelty and gratitude activate regions linked with curiosity and contentment. This emotional rhythm steadies us through life’s uncertainty. Young people feel less uncertainty about their future. Others describe feeling “awake” again after years of routine. The elderly experience renewed vitality. What they’re really describing is this shift: a mentality that moves from surviving or existing to fully engaging. The beauty of a bucket list mentality is that it doesn’t demand perfection. It simply reminds us that meaning exists in motion, not in outcome. Again, it’s the journey, not the destination, that matters.

The Bucket List Lifestyle: Living What You Believe

Eventually, the mentality gives rise to the most visible stage: the lifestyle.

A bucket list lifestyle is characterized by actively pursuing meaningful goals and experiences—a direct expression of one’s bucket list mentality and inner belief system. This lifestyle is evident in how one approaches every hour, day, week, and year, and demonstrates the practice of weaving intention into daily life.

For some, this means traveling the world. For others, it’s learning to cook with their family, restoring a classic car, or taking quiet walks through nature. It doesn’t matter what the activity is; what matters is the consciousness behind it.

This is where neuroscience and the soul meet in practice. Living with curiosity and purpose engages brain systems that support focus, emotional balance, and reward. Exposure to novelty — whether a new place, person, or idea — refreshes the brain's encoding of experiences. Simply put, the more we live intentionally, the more alive our brains remain. Yet, the lifestyle is not about busyness or checking boxes. It’s about presence. Joy is not something we purchase or chase. It’s something we cultivate.

Why Understanding the Three Matters

These three concepts—the approach, the mentality, and the lifestyle—may sound simple, but understanding how they relate to one another can change the trajectory of a life.

Without the approach, we lack structure. Our goals drift, and our intentions fade with time. Without the right mentality, our motivation falters; life feels like something happening to us instead of something we're a part of. Without a lifestyle, our beliefs remain theoretical; we never experience or see the tangible benefits of living with intention. But when all three align, the result is coherence. You live with clarity, not confusion. You choose gratitude instead of grasping. You find purpose instead of passivity. You begin to see how ordinary or extraordinary moments fit into the narrative you are creating.

A Way of Thinking, A Way of Living

To live a bucket list life is to say: I will not wait to feel alive.

It begins as an approach—a system of thought and planning. It becomes a mentality—infusing meaning into the everyday. It matures into a lifestyle—an expression of those beliefs in motion.

You don’t need to climb Everest or cross an ocean. You just need to climb out of autopilot. The truth is, a bucket list isn’t about escaping life before it ends; it’s about inhabiting life while it’s happening.